yes, i hate those feelers

Have you ever encountered a "feeler"? You know, a person who "feels" something, and like brags about it to everyone who would care to listen and fathoms that they care? Oh, god, I hate those people. And minsan, kung minamalas ka nga naman, gagawa pa siya ng kwento. Eewness. I mean, I'm a very keen observer and I can see right in your 2 dirty eyes your dirty little soul, and I know your f-ing lying. You don't have to brag, sister, 'coz I'am not blind, though I have hyperopic vision (oh sige, farsighted na lang para sayo, malamang kasi you don't know that). Damn I hate you.

after these long months...

So here I'am again, sorry if it took me quite some time before i got back to you, I was too busy at school, and everything that goes to the top priorities of my oh-so-unbalanced life. So I must warn you that after 2 weeks, I might not be able to check on you slash update you after (counts months) end of march. Give or take another week and then I'll be off to summer classes again. (I sound so sure of myself, but, fear no more, my dear blog, rest assured, I'll give it my best shot. =))

It's kinda weird though the way i say sorry to you, it's not like you'll be mad and throw stuffs at me like a wife would do to her husband who came home late because of gimmicks or something. hahaha. Oh how I miss this, in a sense that i can let my mind wonder without getting upset the next second because I reminded myself that I have to do something for school. hahaha.

So what I'm gonna do is give you a recap, my dear blog. =)

#1. I'm not doing so great at school right now
So I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you things like I don't know what's happening to me, and stuffs like that, because I'm sort of pretty sure what's going on. I don't feel inspired anymore. It's like, i don't know, I'm not feeling it. You see, on my other subjects (minors, and mostly non-nursing subjects) I do great and would somethings even get that highest score and would sometimes go as far as getting exempted for the prelim examination because of my ardent participation in the discussions. But when it comes to the nursing subjects, I don't know, I can't feel it. Sorry, but I can't. But of course, no matter how strongly I feel about it, I shouldn't waste this. NO. NO. NO. I'll study hard. No room for backing out now.

#2. I'm so in love with TWILIGHT, well, not really that much anymore. It does feel like an infatuation. hehehe.
Here's the thing about twilight and my infatuation with it. I loved the first book, and also loved the movie. But what really threw me off is that there are no available stock of New Moon, the 2nd book, anywhere, as in, I've searched for it, it's not there or anywhere, and it sucked all the happiness in me for a while like the way would edward suck a mountain lion's blood. But I recently learned the blessing of downloading torrents lately from my angel brother, Kuya DJ, and had downloaded the full 4 books from the net. I was so happy, yes, but the bad girl in me got the best of it, and it sort of like I just fast-forwarded it. So buying the book seems like a good idea, still. Coz reading it through the PC isn't much as fun, and thrilling.

#3. Christmas is so just around the corner. And so is my Debut. And I'm still *drum roll please* FAT.
Ok, so i sort of thought if I'm going to include this, but since you're my friend (going koo-koo, Cecille), I'll tell it to you. Yes, I know, there's really nothing to tell. So shut the hell up. I'll just update you on this one. hehe;)

drafteeeee

OH MY GOD. What cruelty science brings. This mouse had to be dissected by ME and my group mates for us to be better nurses in the future. It actually really acges me seeing as I' am really against these things. So I just tried putting it in a new perspective such as what I've earlier typed.

Oh, sa AdU na nga pala ako nag-aaral ngaun. So far, it's been fun. I'm more enthusiastic than I was before when I was at CCM.

UPDATE:So that's like, a draft I had months ago. Just thought of posting it, though. Just so my non-existent reader would know. hehehe..

he's reading na!

mommie and the babies:)hehehe.

yikes. haha. we are so always doing that pouting face. haha. i find it kinda cute(minus that hideous eye bags of mine. haha.). this was taken when we took my transcript of records at CCM. that's actually at starbucks.can you believe it, we we're reading. DI IS READING. yes, R-E-A-D-I-N-G. a realbook, matter of fact. count of monte cristo pa! haha. got to go na. tntamad din ako eh. hehehe:D

walang kwenta..

petty things.. neglected.. WALANG KWENTA.

DEVIL BESIDE YOU:D

gaaaaaaah, it was friggin' good:)loved it,loved it,loved it:)

i watched ep 20 like, 10 times already.hahaha.it's that good.hehehe.

so they have another series to geter that i'm currently watching right now.

WHY WHY LOVE,HERE I COME!hehehe:D

wheew.yeey!argh.

ok. so the title is like, a representation of wht i've been feeling for the past 2 days. the argh part is what im feeling today. i dunno, i hope it'll change though.

WHEEW.
because i passed at adamson. the enrollment'll be on may 29. i wouldn't be far from di:D

YEEY!

the pic is ahmon ang qi yue from devil beside you. it's soooo good! it;s really really cute. though i'm not finished watching it at cruchyroll.com, i know it'll be so much fun. just look at the boy, gaaah, hahahha. it's really good, i really recommend it. REALLY!hahaha.

ARGH.
i'm rally pissed it someone right now. hmph. i won't talk to him!hmph.

that'll be all for now. i'll finish devil beside you today!if need be, i won't eat!hahaha.

AddMe!:D

gawd. i feel so friggin socially dead. i mean, its been months since i last saw my batchmates. others pa nga a year na. well, what can i do? i feel so caught up living my life na i tend to get sa unorganized. i mean, parang im so tired na nga of it eh:( ppnta dpat ako sa birthday ni maan, but, can you believe it, i got f*cking sick sobrang excitement ko. haha. papa God nman! hehe.

btw, nag-entrance exam na ko sa AdU yesterday, and im so effin' scared. i mean, what if bumagsak pa ko dun? anu baaaaaaaaaaaaa. tehre were even questions na hindi ko talaga alam. as in. kahit ung addition, mahirap! hahaha. im so scared. di's in UST, i cant be in some "other" school. wala na ko pang-asar na kanya kung ganun. hehehe. seriously, i really like it there kahit araw-araw kong daanan ung creek na un, ok lang. nakakainis talaga. i feel like, i can't be bagsak sa test na un. it's like, my life f*cking depends on it. nakakainis. gawd. i even make tirik kandila sa groto kagabi. haha. funny, but true. im that scared. waaaaaah. God, nagsisimba nman ako eeh. first mass pa nga di ba?hehehe.

gaaaah. sakit ng muscles ko. what could be wrong with my muscles? could it be the forcibly shortening of my muscle due to the stimulus it received just this morning nung nag-badminton ako? hehehe. nose bleed, anatomy! hahaha.

haaaay. sna tlga pumasa ako:(

:(

you know what's sad? it's when things change. or people, rather. well, things too, but as of my situation, someone changed. well.. it's like, he.. he.. he just changed. i really dunno what to say.. it's just sad. 'coz before he merely gets mad at me, but now, it's like, it's just too easy for him to get mad. i dunno.. wtf.

love really makes me so damn mushy

I just want that thing.

You know, the moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy.

And the only thing in focus is you and that person.

And you realize that that person is is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life.

And for one moment you get this gift.

And you want to laugh and you want to cry

because you feel so lucky that you found it && so scared that it will...

go away all at the same time...

New Environment:)

AdU:)

This next semester I'm going to transfer to a new school. Adamson University it is. But I'm so scared. Though I have some guys there who I already know, I still am very afraid. My cousin, Ate Kaycee, is gonna help me in the enrolling process. She's actually an upcoming 3rd year Mass Comm student there. I also want that course too.. but my parents won't let me. You know, Nursing isn't that in demand anymore. I watched at "Unang Hirit" that America doesn't need nurses anymore and there's a big possibility that Europe and Canada won't also in the next 3 or 4 years. But, like, WHO AM I TO CHOOSE MY COURSE?! IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S MY LIFE, RIGHT?! hehehe.. bitter? nah, I guess they know whats best for me anyways.

So back to my topic, I'm afraid to transfer there because my friend, TinMay, who also studies there, told me this story that I still haven't forgotten. Her cousin also studied/studies there. And whenever they have transferee classmates, they kind of make fun of them. huhuhuhu:'(. I don't want that to happen to me. waaaah.

Another story is that My friend, Dianne, Has a High School Classmate there too, and she said that, MATH is so hard there. She's also a nursing student. waaaah. I'm so scared.

Well, that's the way it is, right? People come and go. I don't have to be afraid. BE STRONG CES! AJA!:D I'll try to make new friends as much as possible. AND STUDY HARDER!! HARDEST!! hahaha.

you know, I'm doing notes in Anatomy yesterday, and everyone seem so shocked. My Mom, Dad, BJ, and even Di. hehe. It's so not me, eh?h hehe. well, I'll start studying really hard!! I'LL SHOW YOU GUYS!:D

IMYSMDK:)

cam-whoring:)gah,i miss him so much:)

WE'RE BACK TOGETHER:)

ok, so we're back together. and I'll save you guys from the excruciating cheesy details. I'm just so happy right now. i can't even write a long blog! hahaha! we're actually chatting as i do this, and we're so happy:) i know you guys could relate to this situation:) well, i know i do. hehe:)

break-up: the first day

we broke up last night. it's one of the hardest thing, you know, breaking up. and it's also unfair. we don't deserve this. he said he's changed but i know, deep down, that's not true. he's just hiding the fact that he's doing this for his family. i woke up at 6 AM and then, started crying. this is new to me, crying when you woke up. i just held minnie.. and cry. crying is my refuge. i think when people cry it washes away a little part of your sadness. maybe if i cry all day the pain wouldn't be there anymore. but then i know that i'm just bitterly joking myself.

i don't understand the fact that he can let me go. i thought he loved me, but all he ever say is sorry, and that he loves me, and that things have changed.

he said that he doesn't deserve me. and swears that he'll be a better man for me. doesn't he know it?? i don't think any man could be better. and about the changes, I'll cope with it. i can understand.

why this? why break up? now i have to tell this to mama and everyone. but then, i don't think i can. it just makes it so.. so.. official.

so it continues:(

so i called his house at 5 PM, and manang said that he's sleeping. i really cried already as we were(manang) speaking. i really need someone to talk to and just tell everything. just someone who will be there, at least. i tried to call aney, my best friend, but i forgot that she has summer class. and i had this agonizing long talk with her mom about summer classes and why i don't have one without her noticing that my heart is ready to burst with tears. i remember friendship and kakang, but they don't have landlines and they don't have smart numbers. so my next option was F. i called her and really really cried my heart out. she told me to ignore him or something(i wasn't really listening at this point for i was like, close to blacking out(no hyperbole or anything)). then i remembered that she has a new boyfriend, ivan(long story). it was really hard to make myself happy for her even for just about 2 minutes or so. i was really really sad.

then i called again just this 7:30. his mom answered and she told me that she's still sleeping and asked me if it's important so she can wake him up. i said it is and she woke him up. the moment i heard his voice i knew i'm gonna cry na. and i did. he seem so cold. it's so not him. i asked him if he's sick or something or if he has a problem, or has no time. just any excuse. I'd be ready to accept it even if its the dumbest excuse there is. but i believe he just said that he'll call me. that's it. it was like, nothing happen. what the fuck is that about? i mean, you didn't call me for the whole day and now you'll act like we just talked 5 minutes ago?? if my mom isn't sleeping by my side id be cursing him to hell. and besides, i was crying like a drama queen already, so it was a lil hard for me to speak. all i can say was "bakit?" for like 7 times. it was really shitty. i mean, i was in a relationship before but this never happened to me. so it was really hard. so now im still waiting for his call. i just hope he won't forget it.. really really hope.

kismet:(

"this time i surrender my everything forever, life doest matter.. just our souls together:("

-kismet by silent sanctuary

damn. i think he's still frigging mad about yesterday. I'm seriously starting to doubt if he still loves me. hello?? why can't he friggin call me? I'm also waiting for him to IM me at YM. this is hard you know. he's not usually like this, and i hurts so much:(. i really love him na, you know. as in seriously love him. like, even if my ex calls me or anything, I'd still choose him. i really really do:(. but why is he doing this to me? is this a punishment? the hell, i don't even deserve this. haaaay. i really miss him so much. it's been 9 days since i last saw him. we didn't even get to see each other on our monthsary. waaaah, i think I'm gonna cry again. doesn't he love me anymore? oh shit, here comes my doubts again. fucking love. why does it have to hurt when you love too much? bloody hell. i hate feeling like this. haaaay. maybe he's busy.. that's why he can't call me or something.. i dunno. but I'm gonna wait till he calls..:(

3 months=)

yeeeees. 3 months na kame ng di ko. tho' hush hush kame sa parents ko, i doubt naman kung may makakabasa nito, di ba? hehehe. so un. my oh my. college life sure is hard. damn, hindi pa nga ata ako makakapunta sa debut ni friendship eh. haaaay. kainis.

buuuuuuuuuut. i'm out of the topic na naman. so i was blabbering about our monthsary. it's so simple lang. kumain kame tas hinatid nya ko. how's that for a monthsary? hahaha. well, truth be told, simple lang naman ako(sinong niloko ko?hahaha). && i really understand kung bakit sha busy. AT LEAST I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND. haaay. masama ugali ko eh, bakit ba? hahaha.

gtg.gawa pa report sa ethics.

xoxo

aawh=)

I LOVE IT! Finally, I found a place where all my shit can be seen. This'll be as pesonal as It gets. The pic shows me showin' some love for F, my dear dear friend who just celebrated her BDay last Feb21. This pic, I believe was on Bay Walk. So, as you can see, my first blog doesn't pass for the sense-o-meter test. Just checkin. Oh, God. We 'll have our Talumpati tommorow for Fil. Gotta Go.=)